His Gentle Hands
by Genkai-chan
Summary: Pair: H/C of course. A rainy city where two people needed each other on a deadly case. Cali is broken and unable to see what Horatio sees. He should have saved Cali and the victim, they both need something more. And can they find in the mess of emotions?


G-c: I am in rather an upset/angst mood because of some people who I feel might be drifting from me and I can't deal with this insecure stress, let alone write another chapter for a fanfic/drabble…SO, I have decided to write a one-shot. Yes, one shot. Unless asked to continue, I just might. Haha, you know how my reviewers always make me feel better and get me goin'. So….my upset feeling may interfere with the fanfic but right now I don't really mind it, so there's the fair warning. Either way, R and R. I hope my sadness turns into some decent! And yes, it's a songfic. Sorry. .

Italics = lyrics

Disclaimer: Show, nor song are mine. :(

His Gentle Hands

Rain. Lots of rain pouring down. Gliding down the clear glass which encased the group of people who worked hard to protect the city that was being rained upon. Blue eyes looked outside at the dark sky, searching. In the woman's arms were many folders of tragic loss and suffering. Cases of people who were once living on the wet earth but were now buried inside of it, as if now sheltered a little too late from something. From everything. Outside in the wet hazy scene was a man dressed in a blazer and matching slacks. Why he was out in the rain, the woman did not know. But she wanted to know. Yet for some reason she separated himself from the weather and was merely watching him. Inside she felt so alive, yet so dead and mute at the same time. She and the man had just finished a dark case. A sickening one that they shouldn't have even tried to tackle. But they did. And they paid the price.

_Drawn in by an unseen cold hand,  
I pass even time as it flows to eternity._

Mentally, they paid the price and it was now as if the earth was crying for the tragedy they couldn't even prevent. The blond was staring, almost getting lost in her empty thoughts that she did not notice some approach her from her right. They placed a hand on her shoulder, thus the woman jumped and looked around. She was temporarily broken from the cycle of internal resentment and waited for words. "Calleigh." They said. "You should go home. It's been…a long day." He said to her. It was Eric Delko, Calleigh's co-worker and good friend. They went back a long way, but the present and future is what needed attention.

"What about…" She started to speak, her body shifting as she turned to look out the window back to where the red head was slumped in the rain. Horatio was sitting on a wet bench outside of the Miami-Dade Crime Lab, back turned to building as he just rested. As if, bowing for forgiveness from the world around him. "him…?"

_As your eyes look away into the hazy distance,  
what is revealed to them, I cannot see._

There wasn't a response from Eric. Instead, the blond looked down at her files, as Eric looked away to avoid any gaze she might have held with him. She suddenly felt torn, between going out to him, or just walking past. She started to walk, feet stumbling over themselves since she hadn't moved for quite some time. Normally Delko, the gentleman, would have have tried to help but he too was in another place than normal. Calleigh started to walk normally, to any place where she could be able to rest and set the heavy files down. And no, they weren't heavy in actual weight, but in what was written, they weighed tons and tons.

She set them down on a desk, she wasn't all too sure whose but just turned and slowly made it to the main exit of the lab and walked out, her purse wasn't even with her, the only thing with her was her phone. In the back of her clouded mind, she knew she would need a key to start her car, and another one to get into her house but it didn't really register with her. Not even the cold rain that hit her arms, shoulders, hair, face, and body couldn't register with the CSI. The case had taken a tool on everyone. The world around her, the rain, the people and feelings were eroding at her inner self. She had no idea how to thwart these emotional avalanches. Again, the sky was a dark grey with patches of lightening. The night was young; she could assume it to be. And for a moment, she thought the moon was out, but it was just another flash of lightening.

Her eyes slowly drifted to the figure she had been gazing at. Horatio Caine, a brilliant CSI, a generous man, and a human being. All she did was drag her feet past him, her eyes set ahead on her car that seemed so far away all of a sudden. Cali made it somehow, but her legs now officially refused to budge as she leaned back on her sturdy hummer and slide down against it so a puddle on the cement. A long day indeed.

_As the moonlight shines on my bitter cold fingers.  
Frozen tears of mine begin to flow anew._

And soon enough, supposedly, the rain slowed and came to a light drizzle. The clouds started to clear and a part of the bright unfazed moon could be seen. It had been an hour or so since Calleigh had sat in the rain against her car, and it had been almost three hours since Horatio had decided to become a human statue in the mess of the rain.

Crying. Now she was crying, it was slow but the chokes of tears were loud enough to be heard. Horatio wasn't broken from his state as his friend sat helplessly nearby, crying like some child who had just been born. Calleigh didn't know why she was crying, well that was lie. A cold lie. She knew, but she didn't know why it took so long to happen. "Why?" She whimpered, her chest resonating with vibrations of confusion. "Why?!" She cried, chest hurting, eyes burning and ass very wet.

"Why?" She sobbed again as she held her knees close to her but her hold was weak. Her eyes were fixated on a tree that was in front of her, though a bit off to the right. Her back was hunched over her compact form as she shivered again and again, wanting to know why people hurt, and why they felt things and why anyone cared. "Why?!" She sobbed out again, body shaking so much; she felt another sharp pain inside of herself.

The case was a bad one. That may be an understatement but it was the only way. They were given a case that was probably meant for the FBI or something. There was this serial killer who abducted women and their pets. First he would strap the woman down to a table like those found at a doctor's office. He would then tape their mouth shut and then without any care, he started slicing into their arms. They were smooth cuts, mostly shallow, mostly. And all this time the victim's pet would be tied down and forced to watch their master, someone who loved them, being slowly mutilated.

Then the man would make sure not to kill her, and would then take her and tie her up and would do the same to the poor animal. The women watching would often not be gagged anymore, only because the killer enjoyed hearing them beg to have mercy on the poor whimpering, frightened, innocent animal. And then the man would just decapitate the animal and chop it into as many pieces as he could. Then, he would go back to playing with the human. He would make more incisions along her legs and body, though trying to torture her for as long as possible and not letting her die of blood loss.

He would then rape her bloody body and then choke her as he climaxed. He was sick sick man. And that wasn't the worst of the CSIs troubles. Since the FBI wasn't taking the case for whatever reason, they were handling it since all of the poor women and animals lived in Miami. Calleigh was deeply horrified, like everyone else and was determined to not let anyone else be exposed to such a sinful nature.

Calleigh was jerked away from her thoughts as a cold wind blew, it would probably rain again soon. She also realized that she needed to get up, if her body would allow it. She looked around slowly, still a bit slow after ending the case. She was a CSI and would always be one. And to be a successful one, you had to keep moving and learning and helping.

_I look at the sky. That distant far off dream,  
it always has me in its view._

Taking a long deep breath in, the pain came back to her chest. Calleigh saw Horatio was still sitting where she saw him last. And for some reason she couldn't recall seeing him as she dragged herself out of the crime lab, all she could recall was seeing him while she was inside the lab. She then turned back to her hummer and hit her head against it, not hard mind you, but just in remembrance that she didn't have her purse. She felt even more useless.

Why did she feel useless in the first place might you ask? For the case, she had a close call to becoming another victim on a piece of paper or on a headstone. Calleigh was first to arrive on the scene where the man played his sick twisted games on people for the hell of it. She had her gun at the ready and could hear cries of someone; she knew waiting would be a big mistake. The CSI broke down the front door and charged in, everything was clear, she then saw a downstairs that led to a basement which was weird because no one Miami really needed them.

How they tracked the bastard down was a long and grueling process, they didn't have any leads and it seemed like time was running out for each person that could be next. How isn't really important though, the fact that they did was enough. As she was mentally going over the day as her head rested on the cold car, she knew she was going down a bad path but she had to confront the events and what led her to being so dead yet still having a beating heart.

_Unafraid, I reach my hand into the darkness.  
I am at the point of no return._

Running down the basement's stairs, she pointed her gun at the man who was indeed in the process of playing around. "Miami Dade Police, drop your weapon and step away from the girl." Cali said forcefully, her gun still aimed at the man who was on top of the woman who was softly whimpering. From the looks of things, it seemed like he was about ready to choke her. But Cali was going to make sure he didn't finish.

But what she couldn't understand was that she did everything right and yet things turned for the worse. The killer who had already killed three women and three animals was on his fourth and just gave the CSI a manic grin. "I don't think so missy." He smiled to her, oh so happily that chills were sent through Calleigh just thinking about the image and the sound he made. It wouldn't go away. Cali froze after her spoke, so much that the male took the chance and threw a scalpel that was in one of his hands at her head and knocked her back. She was now lightly bleeding as he leaped off of the woman and the table and lunged at Calleigh who remained motionless.

He then grabbed the doctor's tool and jabbed it into the right shoulder of the blond who gasped out and tried to push him away. She managed to do so but only pushed him back towards the tied down woman, covered in blood and gashes. He then just clamped his hands around her neck and choked her as Cali tended to herself, trying to get the weapon out. All of her training was out the window and she was truly afraid. In the back of her mind, she kept asking herself where Horatio was and why wasn't he with her like always. Calleigh felt so dirty, it was all coming back to her again and again, she had been selfish and in that way, another woman had died, and Cali had scars to prove it.

If I truly realize the person I am,

hidden away inside my deepest memories.

She wasn't a CSI. And she couldn't feel anything anymore. It was definitely uncharacteristic. And what she couldn't see was that Horatio was in the rain for her. He didn't know what else to do. Hugs seemed out of the question. The man wasn't there, no one was. The team had scattered and Calleigh, their southern baby was left to fend for herself against a maniac. Horatio blamed himself completely for underestimating the criminal they were dealing with.

Then again, it was something they shouldn't have had to handle. And now they had to tell four families the news. The woman that died were someone's mother, daughter, sister, aunt…And two people were in the rain, feeling like they should have died instead.

Slowly, Cal turned to see Horatio sitting, emotionless. Her gaze started to return to their usual soft state, rather than cold and empty. Calleigh licked her lips as the rain started to pick up again. She slowly stood up and supported herself to walk over to the man. Her eyes stayed on him as he stared ahead, not looking at her. "Horatio." She said as she neared him. "Its raining." was all her mind could come up with. Suddenly the wind started to pick up as well. Just great. She came to his side and knelt by him, her hands resting by where he was sitting. She looked up at him. "Please…" They were all so tired, she knew that. But she needed him to be strong, to be larger than life, like he usually was.

_I still want to believe that you will return to me._

_Until you are with me, together in this place._

He slowly but surely looked to his lower left to come face to face with someone he knew for so long who had tears in her eyes, but they were still alive. Hope wasn't entirely dead yet. Horatio wasn't sure what to say or do. He let her down, she needed him and he wasn't there. He wasn't there and his heart was now shattered because of his foolish mistake. And he felt, no, he knew that no matter what he did, nothing could be changed.. Though he had no idea how wrong he was because all she wanted was him, right now.

They needed each other, needed to know how much the other needed them. She looked to him, pleading silently. "I need…you." She whispered as thunder started to rumble off in the distance. She bit her lip as she started to think he was too far gone for her to begin to reach him but he pulled her up into his arms. They were both soaked to the bone, cold and wet.

That didn't matter though, the only thing that they needed right now was forgiveness. Cali felt so awful for being selfish and causing another death before the killer was even apprehended. And it was her fault. Horatio felt so stupid for being thoughtless and causing Cali to be taken off guard and not having any back up. "I'm so sorry." Horatio whispered as he held her tightly. And then it seemed like the storm wasn't even there, and all they were surrounded by was each other.

_I still want to feel until the end of time._

_The gentle loving touch of your hands on my face._

Her hands wrapped around him weakly as she pressed herself to him, attempting to just communicate in body language. Horatio held her to him, his hand on the back of her head as the other held her hips to his. It was soon clear they had to move in order to get more comfortable. He pulled back from her as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers passionately as he just pushed her onto the grass nearby and pinned her down. He then shielded her from the rain and wind as she clutched his wet blazer tighter. "It…stopped raining." A light smiled finally tugged at her lips as she then let her hands roam up to his red hair and grasp it. She always thought their first kiss would be gentle and chaste but instead it was rash and wild. And wet.

"Shhh, don't." He shushed lightly as he kissed along Calleigh's wet neck while his hands held onto her sides. Her breathing began to quick as she started to feel warmer, everything around her fading. And she opened her eyes. She was staring at her stupid hummer in the stupid rain that was just starting to slow to a drizzle. And she realized bitterly she had just imagined her and Horatio.

_Trapped inside this cage made of glass,_

_hurt feelings held captive in the cold and icy night._

And out of nowhere, her feelings boiled over. She clenched her jaw and her fists. Calleigh looked to where he was still sitting. She glared; all of this was his fault. All of it! She was suffering because of him. Cali blinked her new tears that had formed away and strode over to Horatio. "You…" She started, her voice shaking as violently as her dripping wet, yet clothed body. "I'm hurt because of you." She cried softly as she pointed a finger at the man.

He looked up to her and at that point she dropped her arm and let it fall to her side. "Calleigh. I have no right to talk to y—"

"Shut up, yes you do!" She said, convinced she was going crazy. Cal was yelling when she knew she shouldn't be. She didn't know what to do about it though. Just the thought of her being tortured like those women, made her want to vomit right where she stood. "I…needed you. And you weren't there Horatio." She then said in a softer voice, though still trembling with the wind and clouds.

"I'm so sorry." He said faintly, the regret quite noticeable. "I wish I was with you." He said as she started to walk closer to him, being careful. She wasn't sure if this would be like that day dream she had but she had to be with him either way.

"Then be here with me…now." She rationalized as she held out a hand to him and he looked to her, his blue eyes looking up to hers. He had his answer, and she knew it. Horatio took her hand and got up. The only response he got was a smile and the only one she needed was him.

_From far beyond the infinite dark._

_There must always be a ray of light._

Calleigh then turned and started back for where the cars were parked which was only about four feet away. Horatio then took the lead and started for his car; luckily he had his keys on him and opened the hummer to get in. He helped her into the passenger's side silently as he also got in the car and started to drive.

Soon they arrived at his house nestled in the suburbs of Miami and got out when the car was parked securely in the garage. The male helped Cali out and she said a timid thanks and he showed her inside and she just followed, silently taking in everything. Everything she saw and everything she felt.

They got into the living room and he turned to her and he sighed deeply, as if wondering when he took a Calleigh home with him. He then tilted his head and gave a trademark shy smile. "Come here." He said to her and she obeyed.

_I know that your eternal shining light,_

_will embrace me in the warmth of infinity._

Cal rested her head in the crock of his neck as she inhaled his wet scent. Horatio held his arms around her lower back, but soon moved underneath her shirt to try and warm her up a bit. He then stopped and removed his hands, snapping back into his CSI-mode, it wasn't proper for him to touch her like that. Even if it was for her well being so to speak. "Horatio…thank you." Cali smiled, but then realized as she pulled back he probably thought she was saying it for him removing his hands but it was for him being with her now. "I mean…for being here…for taking me here." She corrected.

She was no long cold from the inside out. She moved to brush some of his hair back. "You're so…" He then stopped himself and she could tell he was trying to remain proper and stern. She bit the inside of her mouth. If he would ever return her feelings in real life was undecided but she wanted him to know she didn't mind if he did, but to see him holding back made her feel so unwanted.

"You can—" She started but stopped herself. It seemed resisting what comes natural is a little contagious. "Kiss me." She blurted out. "I mean..if you want to—" Then it was he who cut her off by pressing his lips to hers softly, but putting his arms around her once again.

_While trying to run from the pain of reality_

_I'm losing sight of what is so important to me._

All they needed to remember was that they had what they wanted, and all they had to do was ask. And soon they wouldn't even have to do that. "I was so scared. I wasn't even myself." She muttered to him as they pulled away and he led her to the couch, though still aware that they would need to get into dry clothes very soon but right now he wanted to listen to her. She had his full attention. They sat next to each other, holding each other's hands. "I thought I could handle it but…seeing him in the act of such a thing, and thinking it could be me…"

"Calleigh, you're a human. If you weren't scared I'd worry." He said gently to her. "We both made dire mistakes but that doesn't mean we should give up on everything." He said. She smiled and nodded, she was beginning to feel even more exhausted then when she was sitting in the rain. "We should get out of these clothes." He then said, hoping he wasn't changing the subject too abruptly as he got up and started to go find something for him and her.

_I still want to believe that you will return to me._

_Until you are with me, together in this place._

"Yes…" She said and sat there. She would allow him to do it; after all, she just wanted to enjoy what she had right now. The image of the woman and that killer would forever be engraved in her head, and she would accept full responsibility of anything that came because of her carelessness. Cali was soon starting to drift off, just amazed she was able to fall asleep with all of her guilty worrisome thoughts.

"Cali, here." The red head said and handed her some pajamas of his. They were light blue. "You can change in my room." He said and she then noticed he was changed into faded red pajamas as well.

"Okay." The bullet girl smiled and got up with the dry clothes and soon changed, she walked to where she thought Horatio would be sitting but he wasn't there. She frowned and panicked for a moment; she then turned and saw him in the kitchen with a tea pot. "There you are." She said as if it was riddle.

"Here I am." He nodded and set down two cups of hot tea for them. "Don't worry, there's no caffeine in it." He added softly, knowing they would need a lot of rest. She walked over to the man and sat down across from him at the table as she held the cup between her clammy hands.

_I still want to feel until the end of time._

_The gentle loving touch of your hands on my face._

"You saved me. In the end." She told him. "Remember?" She spoke, it was true. When she was trying to get free, the killer had choked the woman on the table and was no advancing on the dazed and injured Cali. And suddenly there was a loud shot and before he could touch her, he was dead on the ground. Shot, and bleeding heavily. Cal looked to see a pale faced Horatio, panting. It seemed he had ran down just in time with Eric and Ryan coming down to see what happened as well.

All Cali did was slide down on the floor while Alexx and the medics arrived. "I did." Horatio said as they both looked up from their tea, back to the present. "I should have been there sooner to save the other woman." He couldn't help but vocally note. She nodded as she brought the cup to her lips and sipped, trying not to burn herself. "Enough about the case, right?" He said.

_Drawn in by an unseen cold hand,  
I pass even time as it flows to eternity._

He was right; it wasn't healthy to dwell on the negative things. Right now they were together, safe inside his home and both trying to move on from what they had and hadn't done that day. And Cal just hoped the storm would clear up because the storm forming in the first place didn't help the team who was definitely worn out from a horrible case.

The pair soon finished their tea and Horatio agreed to let Cali and share a bed with him. He had originally said he'd stay on the couch but she said it wouldn't be right. They both did deserve some nice rest on a comfortable bed after all. So Horatio had just finished turning the bed down for them to get in when Cali walked over and put her arms around him from behind. "We're better now. We're getting better." She said and kissed the side of his neck softly.

_As your eyes look away into the hazy distance,  
what is revealed to them, I cannot see._

"Yes…" He said to her as he looked up and out the window parallel to them as the rain had stopped and the clouds had finally cleared, and he hoped they would stay that way. He then rubbed her hands that were around his tummy. "Yes." He then said more positively. She then let go and got into bed and he followed suit. She then turned out the lights, the sun was just about rising.

"Say, you were staring into the rain for almost four hours, Horatio…why?" She asked quietly as they both faced each other, both on their sides.

"I…I was looking for something." He said, still hesitant about answering completely and this saddened Cali who nodded in the dim light from the outside. Horatio put an arm around her from under the covers. "I was looking for you." He said.

"I'm right here handsome." Calleigh assured him

_What is revealed to them, I cannot see._

Calleigh closed her eyes as he remained awake and watched her, "I love you." He said and kissed her forehead as he started to let himself fall into a much needed slumber.

( How was it? Did I try too hard? ^^; Tell me! Thank you! )


End file.
